The Ultimate Guide to Handfasting Rituals

What is a handfasting?

A handfasting ritual is an ancient tradition of two people freely choosing each other and binding their hands together with cord, rope, or ribbon to signify their spiritual bond. No one truly knows where it originated, and there are cultural traditions of handfasting from across the globe. However, many people who are familiar with handfasting associate it with Celtic and Gaelic traditions.

Many interpretations abound as a result of this mixed heritage of the custom, but we do know for sure that many of the cultural communities who practiced handfastings viewed them as legally binding contracts like any other. As laws and religious governance around marriage evolved, so did the role of handfasting in wedding ceremonies.

In contemporary times here in the states, handfasting has seen a resurgence as people seek a spiritual and meaningful ritual to incorporate into their wedding ceremonies that is not inherently tied to any specific religious practice.

Why include a handfasting ritual into your wedding ceremony?

There are many reasons to include a handfasting ritual into your wedding ceremony. In multiple types of religious ceremonies, the handfasting is used a tangible vehicle of a blessing, but this ritual has become increasingly more common for non-religious ceremonies, too.

A Unity Ritual and Symbol

The handfasting ceremony is a type of unity ritual, which many couples want to pursue as the tangible symbol of their union in a way that is free from concepts of religion, ownership, and patriarchy. For many people, the weddings rings are a symbol of being married, but for lots of people, they still seek a unity ceremony that exhibits their togetherness in a more salient way, culturally relevant way. The handfasting ritual is an act that is performed together, representing the bond between the people performing it in a way that is equitable and in active partnership.

To Set Intentions and Hopes for the Future

Handfasting ceremonies are popular among those who practice Wicca or Paganism because they are so steeped in symbolism and ritual, it’s like casting a spell for the start of the marriage. The colors chosen play a significance to the hopes and intentions for the marriage, and the act of tying the cord completes the spell. Even those who aren’t specifically Wiccan or Pagan appreciate the spirituality and symbolism of the ceremony and want to incorporate it for that reason.

The Act of Creating Together

One of the most underrated aspects of a handfasting ritual is that performing it is an act of collaborative creation. Working together on something with your partner and bringing an idea to fruition in a tangible way is incredibly fulfilling. Performing a handfasting ceremony is such an excellent way to bring those feelings of togetherness and joint accomplishment to your day.

As an Act of Resistence

Handfasting as a wedding ceremony pre-dates a time when marriage was performed as a legal function governed by the state. In modern times, marriage has become politicized and a form of governance over people and how they choose to live. By incorporating a handfasting into your wedding day, you are actively showing that your marriage is not simply an exchange or consolidation of power and property that requires government oversight (which is the origin of marriage as a government function). Handfastings are most widely chosen by marginalized communities for whom legal marriage rights have historically been – or continue to be – restricted, like the LGBTQ+ community or polyamorous relationships.

Types of handfasting cords

There are multiple ways to create a handfasting cord, from using a single ribbon or cord to a braid to elaborately woven pieces of art. Choosing your type of cord will largely depend on your preferences, spiritualism, or traditions.

Braided Cords

These are the most common and simple cords, and they are exactly what they sound like. These cords are the easiest to DIY and to tie during the handfasting ritual of your wedding ceremony.

Celtic Knot Cords

These cords are beautifully decorative works of art that are woven using traditional Celtic knots as their centerpiece, base structure, or both! Celtic knots have a long history of symbolism, and there are several knots specific to love and relationships. Check out this guide from Ceotha, a Celtic knot cord-maker, for a breakdown of some of the most-used handfasting knots. Sidebar, if a Celtic knot cord is what you’re looking for, I cannot recommend this maker enough – her work is so beautiful, meaningful, and artistic.

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Woven Cords

Woven cords are my personal favorite, and they are the ones I create for any of my elopement clients who want to do a handfasting. They are like a happy medium between a Celtic knot cord and braided cord. Because you are weaving together the different ribbons, ropes, and trims that make it up, there’s a playfulness and organized chaos to their appearance, which is a beautiful metaphor for life. Sometimes, these woven cords can be made from previously braided cords, adding an additional complexity and depth of meaning to the color symbology.

Scottish Tartan

For the Scots or people with deep Scottish roots, it’s common practice to use a piece of tartan, which has its own symbolism and significance, in lieu of a braided, knotted, or woven cord.

What are handfasting cords made from?

Honestly, anything! Cords can be made from ribbons, trims, ropes, fabric, and much more. When I am crafting cords for my clients, I like to use a variety of ribbons and trims to include a variety of textures and patterns. Other folks like to use the same material in different colors for more uniformity. It’s also possible to include strings of beads, pendants, or other accents to the cord to provide additional symbolism, texture, and sentiment. To add an extra layer of meaning, you can use fabric from clothing, blankets, or other objects that have a sentimental significance to you.

Color meaning for handfasting cords

One of the most important, yet overlooked, aspects of a handfasting ritual is the color symbology of your cords. Colors have a multitude of meanings and should be chosen for the cords based on what you want signified in the bond. These values should be representative of what’s important in your relationship and what you hope to grow your relationship to become. There are a multitude of symbolisms across light, bright, and dark versions of a color family, but the chart below addresses the primary color families and their overarching symbolisms. Pin this chart for reference when you’re planning the colors of your cord (or even your whole wedding!).

How to tie a handfasting cord

There is no one right or wrong way to tie a handfasting cord. There are three mainstream methods, but you can also tie it in a way that makes sense to you and those you are bonding yourself with.

The Wrap

The wrap method is the simplest method for marriers and officiants to perform because there is no actual tying of a knot – instead, the cord starts centered with the clasped hands and wraps up the arms. This is the most common method for folks whose handfasting cord has a meaningful decorative center knot woven into it. When using a standard cord, I prefer to have my couples start with the cord held between their hands, deepening the symbology that this ritual and the bond it represents is something that they actively create and shape. As part of building this bond, the person wraps the end of the cord up and around the hand, wrist and arm of their partner – not themselves.

The Knot on Top

This method is best performed by the officiant, but I’ve seen some folks able to do this for themselves. Essentially, the cord is wrapped around the clasped hands in one of two ways: looped around each person’s wrists or wrapped around the clasped hands. Then, the ends are brought up to the top of the clasped hands and tied in a knot. The result is either a knotted cord in a bow shape, or a large loop, allowing the cords to be more easily hung and displayed in the home.

The Infinity Knot

This method is the hardest for folks to learn, but with enough practice both officiants and marriers can perform it. Despite it’s difficulty, this knot is a particularly popular one because of the symbology of the infinity symbol. If performed correctly, the cord will by knotted in a figure eight pattern, and the cord can be displayed in the home along a mantle or hung to show the infinity knot.

How to Tie the Infinity Knot

For simple instructions, pin this how-to chart for tying the infinity knot in your handfasting cord and practice at home with your partner.

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